Having a newborn is hard work. The sleepless nights or broken sleep if you actually manage to get to sleep. In between feeds and nappy changes time just disappears and before you know it your day is over and your ready to collapse into bed.
Over the last 7 weeks I’ve definitely picked up habits that keep my day ticking over and make things that little bit easier and if I don’t stick to them my day just goes to absolute sham and the day just sucks.
But I’ve also learnt to relax a little and just enjoy our squidgy little newborn girl while she’s small because before we know it, she’ll be grown and no longer needing us. So heres my advice that every new parent actually need to hear.
- My most important advice I have to any new parent is just enjoy the moment, this is something I really struggled with at first. I wanted all my housework finished, the laundry baskets empty and a hot meal cooked but honestly it’s just too much. The laundry will be there at the end of the day, the housework will still be there when your baby is grown and no longer needs so much of your time and a sandwich will curb both your hungers. Children are only tiny for such a short amount of time. Enjoy each and every minute of it, soak up all those squidgy milky cuddles because before you know it you’ll be hands deep in homework and school uniforms.
- Don’t be under pressure to get into a routine straight away. This is another I so very much lost sleep over. I’ve had so many people telling me to get Emily into a routine, it will be easier… all lies! Honestly from getting Emily home I tried so hard to keep her in a routine and a strict one at that but let me tell you, it’s utter shit! Your newborn doesn’t need nor want any kind of routine. They have they’re own ideas and I’m sorry to be the barer of bad news but you have to just go with the flow. Things will change from day to day and you just have to work with it. There’s plenty of time for cosy bedtime routines and scheduled eating but right at the beginning it just won’t work. Don’t be like me and lose sleep over thinking your a shitty parent because your newborn has absolutely no sense of routine, it will come… eventually.
- Don’t pour out of an empty cup. I hear this a lot! But it’s so true! Take that hour to have a bath, paint your toenails, slap on that face-mask thats being sat in your cupboard since before you laboured because you really can’t give your best if you don’t take care of yourselves. And ladies, let your man have his hour too. Let him play on his games console, let him watch his shitty action series on Netflix because he’s a parent too. He needs his time just like us women do.
- Do not and I repeat do not compare yourselves and your baby to anyone else. Your baby will do things in their own time! Us parents are faced with so much pressure. ‘So and so slept through at 3 weeks’ ‘so and so took 9 ounce a feed at one month old’ well Linda* we know thats a f*cking lie so stop making yourself look like you have your shit down because we all know your baby is up in the night, feeds every 2 hours, pissed all over you and everything around them and you haven’t brushed your hair in 3 weeks! and I don’t need you to tell me I’m doing a shitty job and my baby isn’t as good as yours 🙈 Your perfect little newborn will do everything in their own time. They’ll take enough milk for them and they’ll sleep to their own schedule. Don’t pressure yourself for your baby to conform to society around you. They’re little humans and they’ll do things on their own terms for now.
- Have time as a couple. Trust me in the last 7 weeks me and my husband have just felt like passing strangers in the same house at times but you’ll both really appreciate spending just 10 minutes together as just partners. 10 minutes as just you 2. Sit and have that coffee, stand and cook that meal together. Sit on the toilet seat and chat away while you both take turns to shower. Just take that time to reconnect. Having a newborn is hard work and to be able to work as a team you need to be reminded that you love each other and why you created your beautiful little baby together in the first place because trust me, there will be times your both that tired and grumpy you’ll be wanting to rip the utter crap out of each other and believe me you will really want to slap each other so hard in the face just down to pure tiredness but just remind one another that you do still love each other. It will get easier, I promise.
And lastly just remember your doing your best! Your doing great!